Believing in Life After Death

December 15, 2011

I remember when I was little, I would look up at the clouds wondering if that was where heaven is. I don’t even know where this came from because in spite of 12 years spent in Catholic schools, I never learned anything about the possibility of an afterlife. Death is such a taboo subject and the word alone seems to elicit fear in most of us.

It will soon be eleven years since I sat alone with my mother and saw her take her last breath and slip away. Back then, I had little experience or knowledge about death, but I remember having a profound feeling (while simultaneously feeling crushing grief) that I was in a place of honor to be present at her passing. Something changed in me that day.

Fast forward to January, 2010 when I began my study of energy medicine. My belief system shifted dramatically as my awareness developed, I began to meditate, and I started hearing stories of near death experiences. At the same time, I became obsessed with clouds, and even my formerly terrifying plane rides became blissful as I floated above the earth feeling like an honored guest of Mother Nature.

When my partner, Ralph, passed on (and I use this term purposely), what I experienced eliminated any doubt I may have still had about life after death. I had gone home to rest the night before, having been assured that he was getting better. At exactly 6:00 am the next morning, I bolted awake and sat up in my bed in a state of confusion. My intuition told me that something wasn’t right so I immediately got up and called the hospital. They assured me that nothing had changed – they had Ralph heavily sedated while they were clearing his lungs. I began getting ready to head to the hospital but I soon got the phone call that he had gone into cardiac arrest. By the time I arrived, they had unhooked everything and declared Ralph dead. All I can say is that when I walked in that room, I saw on his face a look of pure peace. I put my head on his still warm chest and sobbed, saying everything I needed to say to him because I knew with certainty that his soul was still with me. I tried to will him back to life, but it was his time to move on and it wasn’t my place to selfishly hold on.

I believe that Ralph woke me that morning, knowing his impending passing. The time was no coincidence – in all our years together, he would never wake me before 6:00 am even if something was wrong. He would always tell me that he knew how much I needed my sleep. I still feel Ralph’s presence – both in my dream and waking states. I truly believe that there is but a thin veil separating us and it gives me great comfort.

What motivated me to write this post was this video about Anita Moorjani that I recently came upon. I have never heard anyone speak with such eloquence about their near-death experience as Anita does. If you have a gripping fear of your own death or of your loved ones, please take the time to watch this in its entirety. I would love to hear your thoughts on this important subject.


  1. Beautiful post Barbara. You brought me to tears. Thank you.

  2. Thank you, Kathi. We have a special connection, don’t we? 🙂

  3. Hi Barbara, this is so touching. I’m seeing my 91 year old mother slipping slowly. This warms my heart to know that all is well.

    • Hi Joannie, I know how connected you are so when the time comes for her passing, you will understand exactly what I am talking about. That being said, I know that you will savor the time you have left with her on this earth. Much love to both of you. xoxo

  4. Thanks Barbara, I to had to let my Ralph go just 3 weeks before you did, it was my Dad, my best friend I don’t think I fear death , how could I ? I believe to much in the after life, I hate the feeling of really wanting to be with him . (here) I know it was his time to go home. To hear Anita talk just makes me realize how precious we all are….. thanks Joy………….

  5. I’m so sorry for your loss, Joy. I never knew a Ralph before I met mine – must be a good name for special souls. What a gift we have to at least believe in an afterlife and know that their souls are still with us. So many people just don’t even think about it. When a loved one dies, they grieve and then think they’re gone forever. Thanks for writing. xoxo

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