What to Do When Change Isn’t Coming Fast Enough
What to do when change isn’t coming fast enough.
Oh, boy. Do I have a lot to weigh in on about this. For months now (over a year, really) I have been begging for guidance on if and where I should move…again.
When I tell the following story to people, they either look at me with a blank stare (Is she crazy?) or they’re amazed.
Back in May of 2014, I woke up on a Sunday morning in my NYC apartment where I’d lived for over a decade and sat upright. I remember it so clearly. I had a full-body knowing that it was time to move. And then I heard a voice in my left ear (Yep, it was my left ear) say to me “Go look in Jersey City”.
Now, the first part of the message didn’t phase me. I’d been ruminating about leaving the city ever since my beloved Ralph had died in May of 2011 (May again. Hmm…) He was a born-and-raised New Yorker and was never going to leave Manhattan.
I, on the other hand, was ready for more Nature and less noise and litter and construction and crowds and smells. Less sensory overload, I guess.
So, when I heard the words Jersey City, I literally said out loud “What??? Jersey City??? Are you kidding me??? What about Upstate NY?
But The Voice had clearly said Jersey City. Now, I don’t hear The Voice every day so when I do hear it, believe me, I pay attention and am grateful. Sometimes the messages are vague. But this time it was clear as a bell.
So, I got up and called a friend who has lived in Jersey City for many years. She invited me over for brunch and a tour. She mentioned that there was an apartment available in the building next door to hers. By the next day, I had rented it.
Just like that.
Me, who was hungry for more Nature, ended up in an apartment literally surrounded by construction, toxic air, and…drumroll…no TREES!
It was as if I was drugged and transported to Jersey City.
And then, on moving day, as I made my way across the Hudson River, The Voice spoke to me again. “This is only temporary, ” he said. Not funny.
It was a he, by the way. But when I heard it, I knew it was the truth.
Why did The Voice guide me to Jersey City? Was it a cruel joke, I thought, as I watched not one, but two new buildings being constructed, right outside my window?
If I were to have a Tarot reading, would I get the Magician (Trickster) card?
Fortunately, I can answer the question and know that accepting the guidance I was given was the right thing to do. I moved into a building filled with fellow artists and almost immediately forged some new and deep friendships that have greatly enriched my life.
They helped me wake up my sleeping creativity.
The Voice nudged me out of NYC, which had nourished me for a very long time but had begun depleting me instead. I just moved across the river and am a five-minute train or ferry ride into my old neighborhood. It was a gentle way to detach me from the grip that NYC can have on people like me.
And, let me say, lest I hurt the feelings of some dear neighbors, there are lots of nice things about Jersey City. I love the people, I don’t need a car, there are farmer’s markets, a little hardware store, an independent bookstore, a beautiful library, a ridiculous number of ice cream and pizza places and yes, a couple of little city parks where I can find some trees.
But The Voice told me living here would be temporary and I agree.
I’m a Sagittarian (we love to travel) but I also have a lot of Taurus in my chart (homebody). I can literally feel these energies clashing. I long to travel the world but I’m not a nomad and I love to be home.
I need to make my home cozy and inviting. I felt out-of-sorts when I moved here until everything was in its place, there was color on the walls, and it felt like home.
So, moving is a really big deal for me. And I am forever grateful to my friends for their help when I uprooted my home to move here. For some people, moving might be a hassle, but it’s not earth-shattering. It kind of is for me.
It’s been three years. I just signed another year’s lease. This past winter and now spring I have felt myself hovering on the edge of change. I feel it in the air. So, I’ve been doing what helps me the most when I sense myself in a time of imminent upheaval.
I get quiet and listen.
I pay attention to all of my senses, but for me, I seem to hear (The Voice) and know things.
However, I won’t hear or know anything if I’m too busy being busy.
I make sure I meditate every day and get to bed early. Meditation and dream time are invaluable for receiving messages. They hone our intuition.
Intuition is everything when we are being primed for change.
Animals show up in my dreams when I’m really struggling. A few years ago I was going through a really difficult time and for a couple of months, my nightly dreams were teeming with animals. Dozens of gorillas on a beach. Five owls in the desert. A pigeon performing a healing on me. Seriously. My health issue resolved shortly after that dream. Someday I’ll explain.
I wrote the dreams down. I thought long and hard about what they were trying to tell/teach me.
Now, I ask for them to come and guide me. I’m not the best at dream interpretation, but I give it my all.
I’m also lucky to count as my friends wonderful healers, seers, astrologers, and psychics. All incredibly intuitive. I sent an SOS to one of them and, doing a quick check of my astrological chart, her response after seeing major planetary alignments, was “Thank you for not being an addict or you would have gone over the cliff.”
Sometimes you just need to look to the planets to know you’re not loco!
The other day I picked an oracle card from my favorite deck “Wild Wisdom of the Faery Oracle”. Yes, faeries. They seem to always be spot on with me.
The card “Snail’s Pace” flew out of the deck as I shuffled. “Slow down, Grounding, Listen for the heartbeat of the earth, Subtle energies”.
It was a beautiful card that spoke directly to how I had been feeling and gave me confirmation that the quiet, slow pace I’d been keeping was for a good reason.
“Do not confuse slowing down for a time of stasis, as from this soft contemplation of a gentle pace, you will create anew.”
It doesn’t mean sitting on my bum all day long and not taking action. It means being in a state of receptivity and trust.
I’d become depressed from the lack of Nature in my environment. So, while I wait to see where I’ll end up, I brought in some new houseplants that could thrive in my north-facing apartment.
Greening up my space totally changed the energy! And I added a sweet little indoor water fountain so the plants would feel more at home. The trickling sound of water is heavenly.
Then a book that I’d read years ago titled “Plant Spirit Medicine: A Journey Into the Healing Wisdom of Plants” almost jumped off the shelf at me. So, I started to re-read it and learned that the author, Eliot Cowan, has a center in Upstate NY. And, just like that, I’d signed up for a program (next week!), in the woods, communing with plants, no cell phone service, just Nature.
Maybe it’ll turn out to be just a nice getaway. Or maybe it will provide another piece of the puzzle to where my next home should be.
Certainly, working with someone who works with the healing spirits of plants can only deepen that connection for me.
And BEING with the plants IN THE WOODS! I am feeling deeply guided to sit with them and learn. In person.
So, I’m following the signs, the breadcrumbs in the woods, seeing where they will lead me.
Stay open. Get quiet. Trust.
And one day the change which didn’t seem to be coming fast enough will be in the past and we will be living our new present.
Isn’t life a grand mystery?
AKA She Who Sits With Trees 🙂
P.S. Guess which Faery Oracle card flew out of the deck at me this morning? “Snail’s Pace”. You just can’t make this stuff up.